Tag: humor

Snew

I ruined someone’s joke today.

I was walking back from the Spectrum, waiting for a walk signal while munching on one of those muffins they have at Jamba Juice, when a car pulled up in the turn lane. A girl, probably in her late teens, rolled down the passenger-side window.

“Sir? Do you have any updog?”

Updog? I thought. What the hell is that, some kind of code word for something? Since my mouth was full, I just kind of shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

“Are you sure? You don’t have any updog?”

Same thing. The light changed, and the car turned into the parking lot.

And then I realized: she had been expecting me to ask what it was. As in, “What’s updog?”

Hint taken

This morning I looked at the vine that I’ve routed along the top of my cubicle wall and thought it was just getting long enough to warrant a new paper clip to hold it in place. (I have clips at two to three-foot intervals.) Just now it flopped down off the wall to hang in front of my calendar.

Hint taken, plant! New clips are in place.

Googolplex: a virtual reality movie theater

Here’s an interesting idea: Googolplex Theaters creates a virtual reality movie theater so that, effectively, everyone gets their own screen.

Of course, once you simulate a screen in VR, why stop there? You’ve already got 3-D in the display, and between the backlog of 3-D movies and a decade or so of computer animation, there are a lot of possibilities.

Random thoughts

One of our bathroom sinks drains slowly. We’ve had maintenance out time and time again, but no matter what they do, it’s always just a bit slower than usual. Meanwhile, everytime they work on the faucet, its flow increases.

Last night I concluded it must be a water-saving drain. By draining slowly, it encourages you to not to turn the faucet up too far, or to run it too long, thus saving water. Sure, the same thing could be accomplished by just limiting the flow from the faucet, but that would be frustrating. This way you’re involved in the process, so it feels less like you’re being limited.

And on a less silly, but still plumbing-related note, a few nights ago I had an interesting old-habit experience. After loading the dishwasher, I lifted the door while opening the cabinet to get the box of soap. In my parents’ house, these are on a corner, so you can’t actually open the cabinet under the sink without lifting the dishwasher door out of the way. It’s been about 4½ years since I lived there, and countless loads of dishes… and yet the old habit resurfaced.

Current Mood: 🤔contemplative

Theater action! Too hot for radio!

In light of a recent expurgated version of “You Oughtta Know” played on the radio, alenxa wondered just what else Alanis Morissette might be singing about doing to someone in a theater.

I was originally going to do this as a write-in poll, but then I realized people would be limited to only one suggestion each.

So, fill in the blank: “Would she _______ on you in a theater?”

Be creative. If it doesn’t scan, that’s OK (it’s an Alanis Morissette song, after all), but stick to two beats if you can.

Post your ideas here!

Current Mood: 😉silly