Still Not King

Sometime last week – after the “rehearsal” – I realized just what part of the wedding I was most anxious about:

A wedding is the Actor’s Nightmare.

I mean, think about it: You’re one of the two leads in a play that hasn’t been rehearsed (just a once-through of the blocking), it’s in front of all your friends and family, there’s only one performance so you have to get it just right … if you decide to recite your vows yourselves, like alenxa and I did, you have to worry about getting your lines right… all the elements are there.

And yet somehow, it all comes together.

Friday and Saturday were all preparation, down to the point where I was triaging things. “Well, if I wear padded socks, I don’t have to go back to the tux shop to exchange the shoes, so I have time to pick up wrapping paper for the groomsmen/bridesmaids’ gifts…” I was working my way through a checklist Saturday night, and I kept adding things to it. The worst part was the list of things I couldn’t do until morning, when the clock would start ticking. Confirming the seating chart with the location, getting the car washed (in case someone decided to tie shoes to it and it ended up in the photo album), picking up the cake. Due to car limitations I ended up playing surprise host to non_seqvitvr, who made the excellent suggestion that we go somewhere for breakfast. It took up time, but it helped steady my nerves a bit. (I’d been planning on cereal, but I was out of it enough to not notice that there was another carton of milk in the fridge.)

So while Katie and sekl went off to the salon, I worked my way through my checklist, occasionally tearing Jim away from the computer long enough to get in the car. There was a bit of a scare when I thought I’d left my allergy medication at Denny’s (hey, it was nearby), but it turned up, easily accessible, in the back of the car.

It’s funny how much the wedding itself blurs together. The opening-night jitters that just wouldn’t go away until Katie and I were both “on stage” (at which point I managed to stop just a little bit too far ahead, causing me to spend most of the minister’s speech wishing I could just move my feet back a few inches), the blanking on the vows we each thought we had memorized, the “where do we go now?” that pervaded the rest of the afternoon.

Even not knowing what we were doing next during the reception was a bit of a relief, once the ceremony was done. Somehow I made it to the end without realizing we hadn’t done a receiving line, though I suppose the table-hopping meet-and-greet fulfilled the same purpose. It was nice catching up with some friends, although others we barely had a chance to speak with. (Sorry, katyakoshka!)

There were snafus along the way, of course. You can read about some of them in sekl’s journal and in alenxa’s (which I’m not reading until I finish typing, but I know it’s there since she’s in the same room). We were planning to use Katie’s iPod instead of a DJ, but they couldn’t hook it up to the sound system. We had burned mix CDs just in case, but they got played out of order, and the first dance ended up being the full cut of “All I Want is You” instead of something a bit shorter (although that was probably our fault for not cutting the track down first). There were interesting events with cameras and credit cards, and we discovered when we came home tonight that the bakery had given us the wrong cake. But from what I can tell, everything seemed to go well on the face of it.

And really, there are only two things about a wedding that matter: The vows (and the actual meat of the ceremony surrounding them), and the show. The vows are for the couple. The show is for the community. All the backstage stuff can go completely wrong, but as long as the core of the ceremony happens, and as long as everything the guests see looks right – the cake cutting, the dance, and so on – it’s a success.

We were among the last to leave – no driving off in a haze of confetti and old shoes – and spent the night in a very nice hotel in Laguna Beach (the Surf and Sand, which I highly recommend to anyone who can get over the sticker shock) looking out at nothing but ocean and eating probably the most expensive dinner either of us has ever had (but worth it – the food was excellent). Today we checked out Disney’s California Adventure for the first time – a relaxed afternoon, since it’s both off-season and a weekday. Tomorrow we go back to work, and start figuring out where (and when) we’ll go on our real honeymoon.

(Good grief, why the heck am I still awake at this hour?)